


rewrite the stars

by brokenradio



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, BoyxBoy, Charity being an absolute angel, Fluff, M/M, P.T. Barnum - Freeform, Phillip Carlyle - Freeform, Post-Divorce, Romance, Self Acceptance, The Greatest Showman, barlyle - Freeform, im fully so proud of this, phineas needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 13:02:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14057550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenradio/pseuds/brokenradio
Summary: in which, phineas cant deny his feelings anymore, and phillip also has something to explain





	rewrite the stars

Shaking like a leaf, he lifted the pencil to the paper on the desk below. It was glaring up at him, the words typed onto it could change everything. Months of tears, arguments, self-acceptance were all about to come to a closure. He could finally move on, to the person he’s wanted for a very long time.  
It took Phineas a rather long time to accept that things weren’t right between him and his wife, charity, because he knew he loved her, he had done since he was young, he knew no different. But loving someone and being in love with someone are two entirely different things. He loved the life they had with one another up until that point, but as time went on, things between the two inevitably changed, the spark within Phineas disappeared, the passion they once shared had dissolved, and Phineas recognised their relationship was becoming very one sided. He knew it wasn’t fair to keep pretending when he knew he had feelings for someone else, and he knew those feelings were reciprocated. He had fallen in love with Phillip Carlyle, his newest hire and partner within the business. It was never Barnum’s intention to fall for Carlyle, but that very quickly changed when Phin recognised how he felt towards the other man. The pair instantly hit it off with one another, it was like it was meant to be. Every time Phineas locked eyes with the other males’ crystal blue ones, he felt his heart flip and he became so focused on the man in front of him, nothing else in the world would matter. Until that was, someone noticed and snapped him out of his daze by taking his shoulders and shaking him a few times. Phillip noticed Phineas’ behaviour towards him and took to the man instantly. Phillip had never had a connection like this before, he’d never had such strong feelings, he’d never wanted to kiss someone more. It sometimes got very overwhelming, as he knew Barnum was married, but he also wanted him so badly.  
The night the pair confessed the flashing obvious love for one another was a night they’d never forget. Phineas had yet another day of confusing feelings and facing the reality that he wasn’t in love with charity was big, he couldn’t face her feeling like this, he couldn’t go home with this weighing heavily on his mind. He told charity he’d be back by sunrise, as he claimed to have calculations to do and costs to add up, along with schedules to make for future shows. In reality, he was just still so confused, like a rabbit caught in headlights, so he had gone to drink away his worries, just to numb it out, even if it was just for a few hours. His head had begun hurting physically due to the stress and almost fear within him over this situation. Phillip himself had had the same thought, so at 11pm when the pair of them bumped into one another it was a shock. They decided it was best to talk out what had been being repressed for so long, as a result, the pair took a slow walk back to the office where they’d spent months admiring one another.  
Both fuzzy from the alcohol freely flowing through their bloodstreams, they sat down, opposite each other at the desk that had created so many memories. The spark was there, without the help of the intoxication. Phineas took a moment to truly admire every single bit of Philips face, a lazy smile pushing at his lips. Slowly, Phillip held his hands out, Phineas taking them in his own, dropping his gaze from the other mans orbs to his hands, tracing circles onto the back of his hand with his thumb. The warmth Phillip felt inside was new, like a fire had just been ignited within him. No words needed to be exchanged in that moment. For the first time in forever, the pair were content, at rest from the constant thoughts buzzing round their mind. The headache Barnum had seemed to have for weeks on end had finally come to a grinding halt.  
“so” Phineas said quietly, breaking the much needed, comfortable silence they were in. “Phillip.” Phineas sighed with a hint of anxiousness pushing on the sound. Phillip squeezed his hands gently and looked up, almost shyly. The look he shot the older had comfort written all over it. They both knew what was coming next, but found it strangely nerve wracking to say. “I have feelings for you, I’ve felt them inside for a while now. It got me questioning myself and took me a long time to understand that I’m not in love with charity anymore. I love her, but I’m in love with you, Phillip. I want to re write the stars, and I want to do it with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I didn’t at all plan for this to happen, but it did and its made me happy again, it made me feel alive, it feels right.” The elder spoke gently, tears welling in both of their eyes, Phineas’ breath hitching. Phillip squeezed his hand again before speaking himself. “I feel the same, Phineas. you make me feel something I’ve never felt before, I feel like I have a purpose. My parents used to bash me down, and often treated me like an object. You haven’t done that, you’ve showed me what happiness feels like, and what its like to have such pleasantly strong feelings for someone. You treat me like a human, you make me feel good about myself. I’m in love with you, Phineas Taylor Barnum” 

Hearing those words from Phillip himself, even though the pair deep down both knew that they loved one another, made another warm buzz ripple over his body, and made a smile sneak onto his lips. The tears that prickled in his eyes had overflowed down onto his cheeks, and Phillip had followed suit. They were both so happy that this had been addressed, as Phineas didn’t know how long he could continue in his unhappy marriage. They both fell back into another comfortable silence, just taking a moment to soak up the words that hadn’t long ago been exchanged. 

“I’m going to get a divorce” Phineas began quietly, voice quivering from the freely falling tears. “I can’t go on, when I’m clearly in love with you, its not fair on anyone involved. I want to be with you, if you want it too, that is. Ill go home and I’ll tell her, I need to be honest, the pair of us have been together for many years. She’s not stupid. If she hasn’t picked up on it already, it won’t be long until she does” Phillip nodded, before replying “I want you, Phineas, I’m willing to wait if you need me too, and I’m going to help you ever step of the way with the divorce. I want to spend forever with you, and I understand this is such a hard thing, but you’ll get through it. You’re doing this for your own happiness, and no one can have a go at you for that”  
“yeah, you’re right”  
Phillip detached their hands and leant forward to wipe away the stray tears from Phineas’ cheeks. He saw how tired the elder man looked, probably exhausted from both the alcohol and the crying. To further prove the point within his mind, Phineas yawned quietly. “Hey, you need to head home, yeah? You’re exhausted, Phin. We can sort this tomorrow, sleep for now” Phillip told him, standing up to get his coat. Phineas was too tired to muster up a response, so he smiled sleepily and nodded in agreement to the words Phillip spoke, following him out of the door, where they parted ways and Phineas wondered the long way home, taking time to truly take in the events of the night. He truly thought it was all going to be alright. 

After that night, Phineas spoke to charity about the feelings he couldn’t deny, and of course she was upset, and so was Phineas. this was all they’d ever known, and for it suddenly to be ripped away from charity shocked her. However, they both promised they’d still be the best of friends, as they both obviously still had endless amounts of respect and care for one another, and their two daughters, they had to think about them as well. Charity had told Phineas that he wanted him to be happy, and if he’d get more happiness out of being in a relationship with Phillip then he should go for it. They both settled on the fact that a divorce was the best option, and neither held any objections. It had gone smoothly, but both were clearly upset, tears pooling onto both of their faces, flowing at a rapid rate. 

As soon as Phineas had written the last letter of his last name on the off-white papers, he didn’t look back. He knew this was for the best, he was getting what he wanted, but he still felt guilty. He knew that in situations like this he needed to prioritize his own feelings over others, but he couldn’t help feeling that was wrong of him. Even though charity was okay with the decision, he could see in her eyes the sadness and pain, and he knew that it was partly his fault. Loud sobs were emitting his mouth, filling the silence of the office he’d locked himself in to finish this paperwork. He couldn’t see one thing clearly, the tears kept freely flowing, no matter how hard he tried to recuperate he couldn’t. all the emotion that had been building up inside of him over the past few months had finally been unleashed, and it couldn’t be contained. It was 3am, and Phineas stumbled out of the office, quickly folding the papers in half and putting them in the relevant envelope, to be collected the day after. Sparing no more time, he made his way to Philips house, which wasn’t too far from the circus luckily. Having no regard for the neighbours, who were probably asleep at this inhumane hour, Phineas started nocking frantically and loudly at the door separating him from his love. Phillip gathered from the manor of the nocking It was serious, so be blearily dashed down the stairs and unlocked the door, revealing a freezing cold, sobbing Phineas, who was once again clearly sleep deprived and upset. “it’s-it’s done” Phineas stuttered in a rush, before a new wave of tears and heart-breaking sobs could be heard. “oh Phin” Phillip said quietly, pulling the elder of the two into the house and enveloped him into a hug radiating safety and warmth. Phillip instantly feeling him relax into his touch.  
Phillip lead him upstairs, and they sat on the bed in the middle of phils room, the soft white sheets instantly being heaven for Phin. Phillip leant him some clothes to change into, and he got into bed alongside Phillip. Phineas rested his head on phils chest, eyes closing slightly due to exhaustion. Phillip pushed a hand through Phineas’ curly locks, twisting strands gently between his fingers, which just made Phineas all the sleepier, and content. The room was silent, other than Barnum’s breath hitching every now and again, clearly trying to calm himself down. 

“mm, Phin, talk to me” Phillip whispered, wanting to know why the elder was so distressed. “I feel like I’ve made charity upset, I feel bad, even though I feel good at the same time, its confusing. I just want you, but this is big, I’ve only ever known loving charity, so to step away from that isn’t small” Phineas admitted quietly, tears yet again leaking from his eyes, that were aching painfully, only complimenting the headache that was throbbing rhythmically inside of his body. 

“hey, hey. Don’t you dare feel guilty for following up on what will make you happiest, darling. Its okay, you’re going to be okay. Charity wants you to be happy, and she’ll be okay herself, she’s letting you free, and you’re letting her free too, you want this, you said it’d make you happier, you made the best choice for you, Phin” Phillip reasoned, his voice thick with sleep, but still giving all of his attention to the boy lay next to him. 

Phineas pushed himself upwards on his elbows, coming level with Phillip, and their eye contact instantly fell on one another. It was almost as if time froze, and everything happened in slow motion. The gap between the pair quickly became none existent and their lips fit together perfectly like two puzzle pieces. The kiss was soft and filled with passion and care. It felt right. Phineas and Phillip had both been craving it for ages, and it was all they ever wanted. They pulled apart before joining together, and when Phillip pulled away again Phineas whined in protest, before yawning. “c’mon, you’re tired, I can kiss you anytime, close those eyes and try and sleep now” Phillip said softly, as Phineas slumped back down onto Philips chest, and Phillip resumed lacing his hands in Phineas’ hair, as he instantly fell into a much needed, deep slumber. Phillip placed delicate kisses in phins hair, before whispering almost inaudibly “why don’t we, re write the stars” and falling asleep himself, wrapped in his lovers embrace, for the first time of many.

**Author's Note:**

> Im really proud of this!! i hope you all enjoy, i loVE fluffy barlyle. when writing this i listened to "Through the Ghost" by Shinedown and "Stand up and Run" by billy talent as they fit the whole theme v well! thankyou for reading its very much appreciated (:


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